The Marriage Triangle

I just finished watching the movie, “Marriage Retreat” for the millionth time.  I really enjoy this movie because it hits topics that I feel are common in different marriages.  It all comes down to your relationship with God and if you have God as the center of your marriage or not.  I picked two quotes that I like most from this movie and have shared them below.

Quote Marriage Retreat:  “I want to be closer to Him, because if we’re closer to Him, we’re closer to each other”

Quote Marriage Retreat:  For you and me to get closer, we need to get closer to Him. (See triangle below)

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The triangle illustrates how a husband and wife who are focused on the Lord will naturally grow closer together. For more, read To Uphold Our Marriage in Prayer.  I love this marriage triangle.  I have never truly understood this triangle until recently, and it’s true.  I’ve heard people say, “you can’t love someone else until you truly love yourself.”  I think in order for you to love yourself you have to love God and understand the love God has for you.  You can’t expect your spouse to love you 100% if you, yourself, don’t even love yourself 100%.  This is just my opinion, of course.

I have found two articles online that relate to this topic and decided to share them with you as well.  The first is Walking With God in Your Marriage and the second is Is God the Center of Your Marriage?

Now, I understand you may not agree with me or the articles above and that’s okay.  We all have the right to have our own opinions.  I just know that for me and my marriage with Jason, I want to work on loving myself more and growing closer with God and understanding his love for me.  Every relationship has room for growth, whether it’s a relationship with your spouse, parent, child(ren), siblings, friends, or even with God.

What are your thoughts? Have you seen the Marriage Retreat movie?  What are your thoughts on the marriage triangle?

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Us As a Couple

Jason and I met in October 2002 through mutual friends.  We hungout for a little while and ended up going bowling.  I joke about how Jason was not interested in me, because he barely said a word to me, and I spent most of the night talking to one of his good guy friends.  You see, Jason is just a very shy person, especially around someone of the opposite gender.  He’s gotten better over the years. Haha.  A couple of weeks later, Jason messaged me on AOL Instant Messenger (remember that old tool? haha).  We chatted about everything for quite a few weeks.  Eventually he called me and asked if I’d like to drive around with him and look at Christmas lights.  I, of course, said yes!  We had the best time together.  We spent the whole time talking and getting to know each other better.  Jason officially asked me out New Years 2002/2003.  It came as a surprise, because I already figured we were boyfriend/girlfriend due to the fact we had already been going on dates.  Jason proposed to me a year later on New Years 2003/2004, and we later married in October 2006.  We’re coming up on 15 years from when we met, which is so crazy to us.  We have come a long way from our 17 and 21-year-old selves, to the grown adults we are today.  We have worked at our full-time jobs for over 11 years each, we’ve owned our first home for 10 years now, I earned two college degrees, we have adopted many pets, we have traveled to several places, and so much more. We are best friends.  We participate in so many activities together and we support each other to take part in our own interests.  We are comfortable in our own space and having our alone time, but also encourage each other to have our girl or guy time as needed.  We communicate about basically everything, and have very similar views on worldly topics.  Jason and I are comfortable enough to be silly around each other and just have a great time.  We have tickle fights, and many of our pictures involves at least one of us sharing a silly facial expression.  We are an amazing team.  Obviously we are not always sunshine and rainbows.  We can drive each other nuts sometimes and we have our arguments, but our negative time doesn’t usually last too long before once of us apologizes.  With all that said, we are excited for the adventures that are waiting for us in the next few chapters in our “Book of Love”.

Here are a few pictures of us from the past few years.  Eventually I’ll share some pictures from the early years of when we first started dating.  (Once I dig them out, of course) haha

Faith Rebuilt

When I was younger, I believed in God, but never had a close connection.  I didn’t talk about my faith or share it with others.  In a way, I was partially embarrased of going to church or talking about God.  I didn’t feel comfortable praying in front of others, especially when out in public.  I can honestly say that a lot has changed over the years, and you will fully see that with this post.

I don’t know about you, but I am not the greatest at reading my Bible every day like I should.  I usually get into a good routine of reading my Bible and doing devotions or reading a Christian self-help type book, but eventually life gets busy and I lose sight on how to manage my time and what’s important in life .  This is not something I’m very proud of, but I’m here to be honest with you all.  I am very far from perfect, but I do strive to do my best in life (with the help of God, of course).

Have you ever noticed, that when times get tough and obstacles get in my way, you turn to God in prayer and start reading his word with hope to find answers to your problems?  Sadly, I do this often.  Why is it that when bad situations arise, we turn to God but when life is going well, we don’t dive into his Word?  We have this decorative sign hung up on a wall in our living room that says “Happy Moments, Praise God.  Difficult Moments, Seek God.  Quiet Moments, Worship God.  Painful Moments, Trust God.  Every Moment, Thank God.”  (pictured below) I love this sign because it is a daily reminder how in every moment, God should be our focus.  Jason and I have praised God during our happy moments, prayed to God during our difficult moments, and we thank God daily for everything he has done for us and continues to do for us. Trust… now that’s another story, sometimes.

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Now, I can’t speak for Jason, but for me, I will admit that trusting God is oftentimes a hard thing to do.  Life has always been a challenge, whether it had to do with my schooling, my health (mentally or physically), family life, friends, near death experiences, etc.  It almost seems like every time life would be going well for me, there is always something that takes place to tear me back down.  There have been many days/nights that I have cried to God to fix whatever is taking place in my life or asking why he allowed these things to happen to me/us.  Life just wasn’t being fair to us.  I went through the whole “why me?” or “why us?”.  Does the story of Job come to mind?  If you’re not familiar with this story, I encourage you to read this book in the Bible.  Anywho, back to what I was saying.  After eight months of being sick with a vestibular disorder after the miscarriage of our twins, I was praising God for making me close to whole again.  That was short-lived, as we learned of Jason’s diagnosis of his Leukemia the very same month I was able to walk again.  More tears were shed, and more prayers were said.  We did everything we had to do to help each other get through the next new battle in our lives.  Sometime last year, I threw in the rag; I officially gave up.  I decided I couldn’t be strong enough anymore.  I was defeated and I needed help.  I cried and gave everything to God.  I decided I needed him more than anything.  Infertility was of the past.  My vestibular disorder was of the past.  The miscarriage was in the past.  Jason’s cancer was in the past.  Everything was in the past and out of our control.  This does not mean we will not speak of these things or that we will forget.  No, this means we will learn from these situations and we can use them to share God’s word.  I strongly believe God was trying to use us as his examples.  No matter what was thrown at us, we still held onto our faith and believed God had a purpose.  There is a reason for everything.  Yes, we have stumbled and lost our sight along the way, but with our faith, we found our way back to God, again.

The many years of infertility we went through was one of the hardest things we’ve had to go through as husband and wife.  All the doctor appointments, tests, medications, schedules, etc. It was exhausting and it definitely tested our marriage.  Instead of becoming a team and praying together, we kind of drifted apart.  There were many days, months, or even years, filled frustration and wondering who was at “fault” for us not conceiving a baby.  Many hurtful words were said on both sides, followed my quick apologies and tears.  If you haven’t been through infertility, you will never fully understand the struggle.  You may want to roll your eyes and may think to yourself, “just get over it already”.  But, honestly, it’s not that simple.  Those years of infertility were a huge part of our lives.  It’s a chapter in our book that we can’t erase.  After we had officially “given up” with trying to conceive, we relaxed more and actually enjoyed each other’s company again.  We didn’t have the stress and pressure on us anymore.

Do Jason and I have a “perfect” marriage?  Absolutely not.  I don’t think there is such a thing as a perfect marriage.  I can say that we are the best of friends.  We enjoy spending time together, whether it’s building LEGO sets, putting together a puzzle, playing board/card games, or going out playing minigolf or bowling, etc. All of our struggles have brought us closer together.  After the miscarriage took place, and I got sick, then Jason got sick, we knew a few things for sure.  We were each other’s rock and foundation.  We knew we could depend on each other no matter what.  We re-learned how to communicate and to be the strength when the other one was needing it most.  Most importantly, we are learning to pray together and follow our faith in every aspect of our lives.  We’re coming up on our 15 year anniversary of when we met and starting dating.  A lot has taken place in these 15 years, but I am most excited for what is yet to come (with our adoption and all).

There are two songs that come to mind, that played a huge role in my life during all these hard times.  One is “Praise You in This Storm”, by Casting Crowns, and the other is “Through All of It”, by Colton Dixon.  If you haven’t heard these two songs before, I definitely recommend them.  ( YouTube videos are posted at the end of this post)  If you have heard them before, I suggest you re-listen to them; close your eyes and listen to the lyrics.  If you’re ever going through a hard time, the lyrics to these two songs may be very helpful. I still cry every time I listen to these songs.  The words, to me, are just so powerful and remind me to be thankful to God and always praise him.

If you are feeling alone or lost and need someone to talk to, we are always available.  We can pray with you/for you, or offer a listening ear. 🙂

 

Meet Our Family

From:  Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Jason is the oldest child for his mom and his late father.  He has a younger sister who is married and together they have 3 children; two girls and a boy.  Jason has 1 living grandmother, and quite a few aunts, uncles, and many cousins.

 Christi is the youngest child for her mom and dad.  She has 2 older sisters.  Her oldest sister is married and together they have 4 children; 3 girls and a boy.  Christi has no living grandparents, but has an aunt and uncle and many cousins.

Together, we have 3 Godchildren; our niece, Jason’s cousins son, and the son of 2 of our closest friends.  We are so honored that we were asked by our relatives and close friends to be Godparents to their children.

Also, we have 4 adorable kitties; Ellie, Anya, Chip, and Flynn.  We like to name our pets after cartoon, Pixar, Disney characters.  Ellie is from the movie Ice Age.  Anya is from the movie Anastasia.  Chip is from the movie Beauty and the Beast.  Flynn is from the movie Tangled.  We had lost 2 other cats due to kidney failure and heart failure, but their names were Taz (Tasmanian Devil) and Sully (Monsters Inc.). We had a dog for a short 4 months named Rafiki (The Lion King), but found out we are not dog people.  We’re okay being around dogs, but owning one just wasn’t for us.

 We have so many wonderful close friends who have basically become family to us.  They have been there for us through so many challenges life has thrown at us and have been amazing support during our infertility and now our adopting.

 We cannot leave out our church family.  We have so many supporters from both, our old church and our current church.  We are still somewhat new to our newer church, but those we have met have become good friends.

 As you can see, God has truly blessed us with so many amazing people to have in our lives.  Each of them support us in so many different ways and we know they will be awesome and supportive with any child we bring into our family.